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Chief Examiner's Advice: Don't Revise!
4th February 2008
No, really, that’s what the chief examiner told us! So, heeding his advice, I’m writing this instead of last minute revision. On Thursday second-year Communication Studies students were lucky enough to attend a talk by the ‘big man’ himself, who shared with us his pearls of wisdom regarding exactly how to survive exams. This highly confidential information I am glad to say can be shared with you!
After being given numerous handouts, possibly destroying an entire rainforest, it was time for the talk. In walked a suspicious-looking hippy. Not ones to judge, we settled down, hoping to be told what this year’s exam questions were. Dishearteningly, we were told that we basically knew them already (do we?). Then the thoughts of this eccentric yet brilliant man started to pour out, mostly in the form of a string of anecdotes.
The first thing you need to know about exams, and where I have evidently been going wrong, is that revision is a total, utter and complete waste of time. Honest truth, that’s the gist of what the top man told us. It’s fair to say we can now feel less guilty about turning up the music and shimmying down the drainpipe to escape the monotony of revision.
The next point is a gem of information, which we should all heed: how to scare a teacher. Apparently the ONLY people that scare teachers more than weird stalker students are those who put their hands up in the exam and ask if they can write on the paper. So if you want to terrify your teacher, ask if you can write on the paper, or simply become their stalker… whichever you fancy, really. The moral of this particular story is that exams are to be treated with contempt. After all, they are only going to influence the rest of our lives!
The final and best piece of advice that I can relay to you is that if you plan on stealing an exam paper, don’t go round selling copies of it.
So, this summer, don’t worry about revision. Take this article to your teacher and enjoy the sun, if there is any. Whether any of this information is actually helpful or not I’ll let you know in March – I have my doubts!
Sian Marie White